Introduction
Life isn’t a steady stream of predictable joy and calmness. The same people, experiences, and moments that bring our happiest highs can also, at times, tip us into overwhelming exhilaration, sometimes by design, other times by chance.
Before we go on, let’s clarify, when I refer to happiness and hedonism, I mean the moment-to-moment emotions and impulses, not an overall happy or hedonistic life, a general long-term state of mind, or how someone might rank their life across decades. Here, I’m focused purely on states of pleasure, not the entirety of life’s experience. Where happiness is a fleeting and pleasurable experience, and hedonism is a self-harming, wasteful, and over-consumptive state.
So, what separates a moment or two of happiness that feels pleasurable, inspires connection, and fuels us to continue doing or pursuing (that thing) from a hedonistic surge that floods us with intensity, sometimes leaving us drained of resources, and worse off despite feeling “good” while we’re at it? Happiness, as Joe Hudson defines it, is “the state where nothing is missing. When nothing is missing, your mind shuts down and stops running into the past or the future to regret something or to plan something”.
In contrast, Hedonism feels boundless, uncontrollable, and excessive. This blog explores happiness as a natural, uplifting response to life’s joys versus hedonism as its wilder, indulgent extreme. Both emotions surface throughout our lives, how could they not in a vibrant society with so much to be happy about
Happiness and hedonism are most likely to emerge when we feel joy, satisfaction, contentment, or fulfillment, marked by positive feelings and an absence of negativity (Cherry, 2024). Happiness is a warm, motivating spark, tied to brain structures, neurotransmitters, and hormones that drive us to connect, create, and thrive. When it leans toward excitement, the autonomic nervous system energizes us; when it’s about contentment, the parasympathetic nervous system promotes relaxation and digestion, supported by a sense of safety and/ or no need for action (Lambert, 2017).
Hedonism, however, can bring about similar feelings but in an all-encompassing and overindulgent way, with little concern for ourselves, others, or the world. How we respond to positive events, (sliding into happiness or hedonism)depends on context, personality, and biology (Synofzik, Schlaepfer & Fins, 2012; Lavazza, 2016). Unlike the negative emotions of depression or anxiety (which we’ve explored in recent blogs) happiness propels us toward life’s gifts, priming action-readiness for connection or celebration, or inviting us to slow down and savor the moment (Cohn et al., 2009; Higgins, Cornwell & Franks, 2014). Our brains are wired to chase positivity, either savoring it or amplifying it when it arrives because it feels good.
Happiness and hedonism are essential emotional drivers, motivating us to pursue goals, build resources for the future, and increase our chances of thriving (Cohn et al., 2009). Happiness shows up as smiles, open gestures, warmth, or bursts of energy, signaling readiness to engage. Hedonism, though, can tip into over-engagement marked by reduced restraint, impaired judgment, wastefulness, or chasing short-term highs at the expense of long-term gains, sometimes with feelings of grandiosity or detachment.
Using the Biopsychosocial Ecological Model, we’ll unpack their origins, weigh happiness’s pros against hedonism’s cons, and share tools to navigate them. For this exploration, we’ll treat happiness and hedonism as shades of the same emotion: happiness as a constructive and pleasant lift with more benefits than drawbacks, and hedonism as its untamed and wasteful counterpart, where cons often outweigh pros.
This framing keeps it relatable as many see hedonism as happiness gone indulgently overboard. Let’s dive into how these emotions shape us differently through biology, psychology, social ties, and environment, with examples to bring it to the mind’s eye.
Happiness and Hedonism Through the Lens of the Biopsychosocial Ecological Model
Potential Biological Origins and Explanations
Happiness is wired into our biology, shared across mammals, and rooted in brain structures that govern reward, emotional processing, and energy regulation. Neurochemicals, neurotransmitters, and hormones shift significantly during joyful or hedonistic states (Craig, 2019; Dfarhud, Malmir & Khanahmadi, 2014).
Genetics, baseline neurochemical levels, and stabilization speed make some people naturally prone to happiness or resilient against hedonism’s extremes (Dfarhud, Malmir & Khanahmadi, 2014). Biologically, happiness boosts energy, relaxation, and the desire to socialize; overall, signaling activities worth continuing (Phelan, 2021).
These responses fuel verbal and nonverbal cues like smiles or open gestures, showing a readiness to connect or amplify joy. Evolutionarily, happinessand the positive-reward system is for survival, reproduction, opportunity, and gain. All of those aforementioned positive outcomes of happiness involve taking chances at some point or another, and happiness can override some fear or doubt that may be impeding a person (Lambert, 2017).
Biologically, Why Might I be Hedonistic About This, Rather Than Just Happy or Vis Versa?
Biologically, hedonism’s allure is clear; happiness guides adaptive behavior that make us more likely to survive and reproduce, incentivizing effort to secure important resources (Lavazza, 2016). Seeking out and enjoying foods rich in fat and sugar (the greatest reward to our brains), Why would we not want to pursue something like that endlessly?
In ancient times, happiness might have encouraged a gatherer to share a bountiful harvest, fostering group harmony and motivation to keep going; Hedonism, though, could have them dancing wildly into the night, exhausting resources or ignoring tomorrow’s needs, creating a euphoric feedback loop of excess. Imagine a big win like a promotion at work. Happiness might fuel a quiet pride and steady effort to excel, while hedonism could push you to boast loudly, overspend on celebrations, or slack off, assuming the high will last.
Where do you fall on the continuum between the “steady glow” type who savors joy calmly versus the “wild spark” who amplifies it fast? It’s normal variation and your genes and biology play a big role.
Potential Psychological Origins and Explanations
Happiness and hedonism shape how we think and feel before, during, and after positive events, acting as an internal feedback system. Psychologically, these thoughts and beliefs likely evolved to help us seize opportunities and strengthen connections. An event’s likelihood to generate happiness or hedonism isn’t fixed, it’s shaped by your perception, values, and beliefs (Craig, 2019; Lavazza, 2016).
When you appraise an event as uplifting or rewarding, happiness or hedonism kicks in. Reactions vary due to rational and irrational beliefs, past experiences, and cognitive biases, so the same trigger, a compliment, for example sparks different responses across individuals (Craig, 2019). Some savor happiness calmly, while others let hedonism spill freely.
Psychologically, Why Might I be Hedonistic About This, Rather Than Just Happy or Vis Versa?
Psychologically, a kind gesture might ignite quiet happiness in one-person, inspiring gratitude, or wild hedonism in another, inflating their sense of invincibility. Therapy often targets beliefs, as reshaping them is easier than rewriting DNA or changing society.
Happiness from a win might keep you grounded, fueling effort; Hedonism on the other hand, might lock you in overconfidence, speeding through life assuming every light stays green. Happiness also protects well-being and makes one more resilient to stressful events day-today, like cherishing a past win to shield against future or current doubt; Whereas hedonism might see you over celebrate the first win of a tournament, without a quality sleep for tomorrow’s game.
The goal is to favor thoughts that encourages happiness that sustains rather than hedonistic thoughtsthat blinds one to their limits and is exhaustive.
Potential Social Origins and Explanations
Humans are wired for connection, socializing, and intimate connections and happiness helps to strengthen those group and interpersonal bonds. The “need to belong” is significantly important to human satisfaction (Lambert, 2017). Smiles, laughter, and warm tones signal joy, inviting others to share or amplify it. Picture lifting something heavy with friends, happiness shines as you move that last piece of furniture into its spot (for now). How our social circle and societyappraise events vary across cultures, shaping whether happiness or hedonism dominates (Craig, 2019).
Socially, Why Might I be Hedonistic About This, Rather Than Just Happy or Vis Versa?
Socially, your circle can anchor happiness or fuel hedonism. Friends sharing your joy keep it grounded; excessive hype might send it soaring. Happiness bonds a group over a shared toast and celebratory birthday evening, while hedonismmight spiral if they egg you on, turning a day into a reckless spree that goes the whole month, with phrases like “it’s my birthday month after all, won’t you come out each weekend with me?”
The risk? You and your group might find yourselves undermining, in the long run, the very bases of social coexistence and rewards, which are the preconditions for any real flourishing (Lavazza, 2016). This is because there are not unlimited resources to be used up, and everyone will have a different comfort level with the levels of celebration.
Some societies at certain points of time might have found it appropriate to celebrate the end of a harvest season for a day or a week. But eventually, the consumption of resources has to slow down, less they be all used up, which history has shown to be not-so preferable. Evolutionarily, happiness likely helped early humans bond after a big successful hunt enjoying a feast, but if one where to seek out a feast every night, that would require a lot of hunting (or an agricultural or industrial revolution), or hunt carelessly every day till population collapse. You don’t want to be the last few people in a group calling for a feast every night and demanding the whole group goes out and hunts hard every day to make it happen.
Potential Ecological Origins and Explanations
Our environment can spark happiness or hedonism, with weather and surroundings playing key roles. Idioms like “walking on sunshine” or “cloud nine” capture this, and nature literally contributes. Evolutionarily, settings that combine resources and safety, support a sense of happiness (Lambert, 2017; de Vries et al., 2021).
This could explain why being up on a hill or bluff, with a view of a landscape and the ability to have a private spot to see that landscape from, a water source (or view of water especially), trees and vegetation nearby and plentiful, and wildlife being present is not only likely to be the location of your areas next up and coming neighbourhood (if it isn’t already), but also an environment that encourages happiness and contentment.
Ecologically, Why Might I be Hedonistic About This, Rather Than Just Happy or vis versa?
Ecologically, a sunny spring day might inspire a happy stroll or to invite some friends to go golfing. Hedonism on the other hand could push you to over drink or overeat hotdogs at your first golf game of the season, despite it being a weekday and leave yourself worse for wear the following workday.
In Kelowna’s four-season playground, a vibrant atmosphere might draw other people from around the province for socialization, boosting opportunities for happiness. Imagine planning a stroll in beautiful city park with some friends, and it happens to be raining that day. A bluebird ski day feels happier than a drizzly one, shaping experiences to tilt positive easier. Whereas
Tying It Together
Biologically, happiness and hedonism are wired for motivation and connection. Psychologically, they alert us to rewards aligning with our values. Socially, they unite us to share joy. Environmentally, they sync us to the resources of our surroundings. The difference lies in intensity, duration, and frequency: Happiness is a constructive lift with more benefits than drawbacks; hedonism is its wild counterpart, where cons outweigh pros. This framing keeps it relatable, as many see hedonism as happiness gone overboard. Let’s look closer.
Pros (Happiness)
Happiness sharpens focus, highlights what’s right, and fuels connection or creation. It also builds drive to seize opportunities, fostering exploration and risk taking. In this way, happiness broadens novel and more creative thoughts and perceived ability/competence to act on said thoughts; Often expands one’s social group(s); Encourages an individual to be more likely to build resources and have greater flexibility on goals and acceptable outcomes; And finally, happier states of mind increase one’s stress tolerance, that is one’s ability to rebound from adversity and stress, ward off depression, and continue to grow through difficult or stressful events and circumstances (Cohn et al., 2009).
If that wasn’t enough, happiness also promotes optimal sociability and energy levels, more altruistic behaviour, expanded self-esteem, stronger immunity to various illnesses, improved conflict resolution ability, and increases the likelihood of original thinking (Lyubomirsky, King & Diener, 2005). Behaviors sparked by a happy surge can sustain longer term positivity over time, leading to longer term, overall life satisfaction. Think of a time happiness worked for you, either by looking back for strength, or as a motivating finish line, what did you gain?
Cons (Hedonism)
Hedonism surges when emotions outrun reason, clouding judgment and hindering tasks. It invites reckless moves, with short-lived arousal but lingering fallout. Chronic highs sap quality of life, strain ties, and skew responses, linking to burnout and health issues. In fact, repeated, constant hedonism inhibits flexible adaptation to the highly variable contexts in which humans are expected to act, complicate empathy to other persons, prevent necessary efforts to change life circumstances, and impair moral, social, and problem-solving decision making (Synofzik, Schlaepfer & Fins, 2012; Lyubomirsky, King & Diener, 2005).
Hedonism also distorts self and world views, making actions taken and thoughts held less effective as they are not grounded in reality (Lavazza, 2016). A euphoric high over a win might alienate others with boasts, stunting balance instead of inspiring connection. Hedonism makes you more prone to reckless moves, acting without weighing consequences and uses up resources wastefully. Reflect on a hedonistic time in your life, what tipped it from happiness? Was it worth it?
Why This Matters Anyhow
Hedonism can sap peace and trap us in cycles that harm more than help. Happiness is inevitable and desired, but prolonged hedonism doesn’t have to be. The goal isn’t to erase hedonistic thoughts and behaviours, it’s human, but rather to ease hedonism’s grip, returning to constructive joy and happiness we can channel and use as motivation and a signal we are on the right path.
One’s potential to act hedonistically often spikes automatically after a perceived triumph, success, or attainment of a goal. Reappraising it as less all-consuming can dull its edge, depending on mentally or physically distancing oneself or re-evaluating the trigger as less overwhelming on the fly. This skill to be happy, but not hedonistic takes practice (citation needed). It reduces intensity, shaving off hedonism’s wild edge to bring you back to happiness or calm, preventing reckless excess and waste.
Tools here aim to sand that edge and create space. After all, “The reason that we’re happy when we achieve something is because we have a moment where we don’t want anything else” – Eckhart Tolle. Another quote that seems appropriate here is “Love is for those who love the work” – Joseph Fasano; But let’s adapt that to “happiness is for those who enjoy the process”. Could you spare a moment to feel happiness? Even if you must force it out like wringing the last drops from a towel.
Practical Tools For Feelings Of Frustration And Anger
The ABCDEF exercise (Wright, S. A. (2025)
This exercise breaks down a feeling and attempts to identify self-defeating thoughts associated with a negative emotion and replace those thoughts with more self-helping and realistic beliefs.
A – Activating Event: The situation or trigger that initiates the emotional response that’s not preferable (e.g., It’s the weekend)
B – Beliefs: The thoughts or beliefs (often irrational) about the event (e.g., “It’s the weekend, of course I’m going to get blind drunk, I have to enjoy my weekend after all and get my mind off all my work stress!”)
C – Consequences: The emotional and behavioral outcomes of those beliefs (e.g., Hasty actions, anti-social behaviours, drain on mental/physical resources from the overconsumption of alcohol and consistent celebratory behaviours.)
D – Disputing: Challenging the irrational beliefs with rational questioning (e.g., “Is it true I must get blind drunk every weekend, just because it’s the weekend?”)
E – Effective New Beliefs: Replacing irrational beliefs with healthier, rational ones (e.g., “I’d prefer to be able to relax and fully get my mind off the stresses of the past week, and I can do that by having a few alcoholic beverages and planning some fun hobbies/outings”)
F – New Feelings/Behaviour: The resulting improved emotional and behavioral outcomes (e.g., reduced hedonistic tendencies, more reflective, realistic, and self-helping thoughts that bring a sustained happiness)
Do something meaningful to you (Cherry, 2024)
You could safely pick up some litter in your neighbourhood or favorite park for 10 minutes (using appropriate safety gear). Volunteer for an organization that supports a cause that’s meaningful to you.
The good life – beginning with the end in mind (Higgins, Cornwell & Franks, 2014).
Having a vision of what you want your life to look like, what would make you “happy”, can have profound positive effects on one’s mood. When you aren’t feeling as happy as you would like, sit down and have some thoughts over a long-term goal of yours, what are you doing? Who is around you? Where are you? Really play with it. This also works for short term goals too like planning a fun outing with friends over the weekend. The just of this tool is to have something to look forward to that brings you happiness, small or large, long or short term.
Writing three good things that had happened to you and why they happened (Craig, 2019).
This can be done in the context of your life, your day, or your week/month. Just write down things that have brought you joy and why that was the case. This reflection on happiness demonstrates that your life isn’t all bad and creates some positivity in a down time; also, it helps to bring more self-understanding to the types of things that bring you happiness to begin with, so you might be able to incorporate more of those types of things in the future.
Planned happiness
Weekend plans don’t make themselves. It takes effort to build a happy life. These things can be as small as ensuring a song you enjoy is on repeat during the time you commute to work, or packing an excellent lunch that makes your coworkers envious, or a favourite meal or activity to look forward to in the evening when your home (ribs and a nature walk anyone?)
Disclaimer
I hope all of these tools work for you, but I also recognise that none of these may work or that perhaps the explanation here isn’t enough. While this article intends to help people, it is not a replacement for therapy/counselling or other methods of help if you’re in need. It is not intended to be a “be all end all” resource to help an individual have better mental health.
Counsellors are trained to go through interventions and exercises just like these with a person and be there alongside you should things get difficult and you try to move towards a distraction; Struggle to continue in the face of heavy emotion; To hold a space and hold you accountable to your past, present, and future self. To implement these tools it will take practice, practice, practice! The tools aren’t all that difficult to perform, but finding and committing to a time to sit down and think over them can be the most difficult part.
In the famous words of Albert Ellis “It’s simple, but it’s not easy!”. Small actualized steps can lead to big changes. Even minimal work is better than nothing. And you aren’t going to be perfect at it the first time, or ever for that matter as perfection doesn’t exist! These tools are not an exhaustive list by any means, there are countless other tools that exist that can help a person find a way to reduce hedonism and transmute it into a healthy amount of happiness.
People are incredibly unique and it can take lots of experimenting with various tools like the ones listed above to create a system that works for you. Hopefully at least one of the tools listed in this blog works for you and can be added to your toolbelt, or at the very least, has encouraged you to seek out other tools that may be more helpful to you.
With all of this said, sometimes, despite your best efforts and intentions, hedonism takes over more often than you would like. That’s normal. It’s also completely normal too to do everything “right” and still be lost in euphoria rather than happiness at times. I hope you’ve enjoyed the blog. Reach out if you did and please let us know if there are any topics you would like looked at!
References
Wright, S. A. (2025, March 6). All about rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy
Cherry, K. (2024, May 20). What does happiness really mean? Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-happiness-4869755
Cohn, M. A., Fredrickson, B. L., Brown, S. L., Mikels, J. A., & Conway, A. M. (2009). Happiness unpacked: positive emotions increase life satisfaction by building resilience. Emotion (Washington, D.C.), 9(3), 361–368. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0015952
Craig, H. (2019, February 14). Psychology of happiness: A summary of the theory & research. PositivePsychology.com. https://positivepsychology.com/psychology-of-happiness/
de Vries, S., Nieuwenhuizen, W., Farjon, H., van Hinsberg, A., & Dirkx, J. (2021). In which natural environmentsare people happiest? Large-scale experience sampling in the Netherlands. Landscape and Urban Planning, 205,103972. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.landurbplan.2020.103972
Dfarhud, D., Malmir, M., & Khanahmadi, M. (2014). Happiness & Health: The Biological Factors- Systematic Review Article. Iranian journal of public health, 43(11), 1468–1477.
Higgins, E. & Cornwell, James & Franks, Becca. (2014). “Happiness” and “The Good Life” as Motivations Working Together Effectively. 10.1016/bs.adms.2014.08.004.
Lambert, C. (2017, January-February). The science of happiness: Psychology explores humans at their best. Harvard Magazine. Retrieved April 9, 2025, from https://www.harvardmagazine.com/2007/01/the-science-of-happiness-html
Lavazza A. (2016). Happiness, Psychology, and Degrees of Realism. Frontiers in psychology, 7, 1148. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.01148
Lyubomirsky, S., King, L., & Diener, E. (2005). The benefits of frequent positive affect: does happiness lead to success?. Psychological bulletin, 131(6), 803–855. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.131.6.803
Phelan, M. (2021, April 20). Neuroscience: The biology (& chemistry) of happiness. The Happiness Index. https://thehappinessindex.com/blog/happiness-biological-perspective/
Synofzik, M., Schlaepfer, T., Fins, J. (2012). How Happy Is Too Happy? Euphoria, Neuroethics, and Deep Brain Stimulation of the Nucleus Accumbens. Ajob Neuroscience. 3. 30-36. 10.1080/21507740.2011.635633.
Written by:
Tim Lamont C.C.C
