We’ve all heard the classic tropes about counsellors, I’d even bet some of them are coming to your mind right now, or have recently if you’ve made it this far onto the site. I’ll try to fire off some of the more well-known one’s here. “You’re Gunna read my mind, aren’t you?; “You’re doing this because some damaged part of you has experienced my pain and suffering”; The counsellor grabbing some tissue paper as their client uncontrollably saturates a couch with their tears. There are surely more, but we’ll focus on examining these for now as we see if any of them are grounded in truth.
In this post we will go over three of the most common tropes associated with counselling, these apply more generally, but can certainly apply to Kelowna, and Okanagan therapists as well. Let’s begin!
Trope #1: The Reading of the mind/The All-Knowing Kelowna Therapist
In this trope the counsellor is depicted as an almost omniscient figure who instantly understands the client’s deepest and most profound thoughts and issues. With this ultimate understanding of the client, the counsellor (with surgical precision) will pose a question or statement, which in turn unlocks a flood of seemingly obvious revelations for the client, solving their less-than-ideal situation. This trope oversimplifies the collaborative and often gradual nature of counselling in the real world, casting the therapist as a wise oracle rather than a guide alongside the person as they sort out what is best for them.
While counsellors in Kelowna, Okanagan Valley, British Columbia, and the world may wish they had this ability (but maybe not as it would take a lot of the fun out of the profession) mind reading just isn’t grounded in today’s reality. It takes time to get to know a person and their tendencies, and certainly overtime a counsellor can begin to make more accurate insights into their client’s inner workings, the odds of that happening on the first session are relatively rare. Speculating on the origin of this trope, Theory of mind comes to mind (no pun intended).
Theory of mind recognizes that individuals can hold perspectives, thoughts, or feelings that may not align with what one personally knows or experiences, ultimately utilizing this understanding to predict or explain their behavior. So sure, after several sessions together a counsellor would likely have a more educated guess on what a person is thinking or feeling, or a strategy that is more tailored for them given their circumstances, but never outrightly reading their mind. A good counsellor will do their best to make sure they are checking in with their clients as to what’s going on for them on an ongoing fashion. This will help to mitigate risks that may come with assumptions.
Trope #2: The Okanagan Therapist, The Broken Healer
The counsellor is shown as deeply flawed or emotionally damaged themselves, perhaps battling their own demons while trying to help clients or integrating the helping of others into their own healing process. This trope suggests that their struggles make them uniquely qualified to help others going through a similar experience but also perpetually on the knife’s edge of hypocrisy should their treatments not yield results. A question for the reader: “Would you still be able to have discussions with your family doctor about a recent heart attack you hypothetically had, if your doctor has never had a heart attack personally?”.
This trope likely has its origins in Hollywood depictions of counsellors and while many can confidently acknowledge that Hollywood does make embellishments, a lot of people do not have first-hand experience of what it’s like to be with a counsellor. According to Karbouniaris & van Os (2021) about 45% to 75% of mental health professionals have personal experience with mental health care services. So, while there is a reasonable chance that your counsellor has had some emotional or psychological damage in the past, it isn’t a given, nor is it a requirement for them to have first-hand experience to provide excellent therapy in Kelowna.
Trope #3: The Couch Confessional
Picture this, you’re on a couch in a modern & private Kelowna office, happy that the couch has been sprayed with Scotchgard™ less your tears soak it for the next poor sap that’s to sit where you are now. This image is evocative of the final trope we will discuss today, the emotional couch confessional. This trope exaggerates the emotional intensity and portrays a rigid/routine setup to therapy: you come in, cry for an hour, and leave better off, almost like bloodletting for the mind. The trope ignores the diversity of approaches and the slower pace of real progress.
Powerful waves of emotion are to be expected in therapy, and a cathartic release of emotion can often be one of the benefits people cite about counselling. With that said, periods of profound emotion expression don’t have to happen every session, nor happen at all to have therapeutic benefit. It can be nerve wracking or even down right intimidating to think that shortly upon beginning the session you will be so emotionally vulnerable to a total stranger. This is not an expectation, and should it be the case don’t worry needlessly about it, you are in good hands (hopefully). Perhaps where this trope came from can again be mainly attributed to Hollywood for better or for worse.
Conclusion
Let’s be honest, tropes form for good and bad reasons, but reasons nonetheless. They are often seen as quick ways to distill and store information about a topic. However, tropes are not nuanced enough to accurately reflect the reality of whatever they represent the majority of the time. Yes, a counsellor will try to understand your thoughts, feelings, and emotions; Yes, they are likely a person who gets satisfaction out of seeing you reach your full potential; And yes, tears occasionally roll down cheeks, but is any of that really enough to dissuade you from seeking out the help you might benefit from, get back to living and enjoying life, and growing as an individual?
As you finish this, please think of some other counselling or general health professional tropes you’ve heard of that aren’t addressed here and consider sending a message along to us and we can see about addressing them as well. Kelowna Therapists aren’t the only weird one’s with tropes after all!
References
Karbouniaris, S., & van Os, J. (2021). Heal thyself, then heal others? The power of lived experiences. Psychiatric Times, 38(11). https://www.psychiatrictimes.com/view/heal-thyself-then-heal-others-the-power-of-lived-experiences
Written by Timothy Lamont C.C.C
